When will we say “Enough” and mean it?

I know I haven’t written in a while. Pardon me, but I’ve been sad. The orange buffoon has shattered my vision of humanity, and I’m struggling to break through the darkness that is despair.

So, another school shooting today. I have to ask – what’s the big deal? I mean, it’s not like we really want to do anything about it, right? Who cares anymore? Certainly not our lawmakers, certainly not the members of the gun cult. It’s just dead kids, right? We have to accept this as an inconvenience of American life, like taxes and traffic jams.


I hate to admit this, but I’ve become blase’ about the whole gun thing. I used to get angry, heartbroken, scared, and would participate in one-sided maniacal shouting sessions at TV news coverage of dead children and murdered-at-the-hands-of-the-police Black People. It was exhausting for me, a middle-aged white grandmother, to care so deeply and oppose so vehemently, death by firearms. Now I just feel hopelessness.

Do not misunderstand me. My husband has an arsenal scattered amongst my tchotchkes in our home. He is responsible enough to put away the easily accessible ones when the Grands visit.  The rest are locked away, inventoried and waiting for the day that he is gone and I will make rid of them. But I have traveled this country, often alone, and have never felt the need to be armed. I guess that is because of my privilege. I mock him when he slides a pistol into the storage compartment of the car door. He says he’d rather have it and not need it, than need it and not have it. I guess. I just don’t think I need a gun.

What makes a person who is so sensitive – so insecure, become emboldened when they wrap their fingers around the trigger of a weapon? What makes a person (I really should use the male pronouns here, because women do not commit mass shootings) think they can fill in the hole in their confidence, psyche, masculinity or need for attention by killing innocents with a weapon of war? Blame the unfulfilled need for power and control? Blame the patriarchy? You betcha!

Those of you reading who say in order to value life we need to get back to god/read the bible in school/arm teachers…bite me. What we lack in this country is moral guidance, not religion. We need little boys to be taught that it is not OK to lash out aggressively towards their female classmates. We need them to be able to understand the meaning of “No” and not be shattered by it. And we need little girls to be taught that male aggression does not mean “he likes you”.

I don’t know anymore what it will take to solve this problem. I just don’t know. Call me a coward, a quitter. But for today, I’m gonna sit here in my comfortable privilege and not give a damn. I am doing this to shield my emotions from the terror that is all around us.  I’m tired of the Marches. I’m tired of calling and writing Congress.

Tots and Pears people.


Listen to us please

The tragedy in Manchester yesterday was a strategy explicitly targeting an audience filled with girls. Disenfranchised young men enabled by misogyny and toxic masculinity are being recruited by radical extremists who see it as their calling to rein in females and put us in our place. It’s also pertinent to note that the entertainer (Grande) has a large gay following. There is little doubt that misogyny and homophobia were two of the reasons behind this attack. The talking heads seem to be missing this.

Attempts to address the threats represented by all kinds of extremist violence, including white-christian-male-supremacist violence in the US, fall on deaf ears. Just like our outrage about pussy-grabbing, we are dismissed as being overly sensitive and alarmist in our concerns.


The internet is full of people offering prayers (the least effective thing one can do) and posting memes. To these people, only their religion matters, and they are blind to the fact that not everyone shares their views. Personally, I reply to their posts that the people affected by this shocking act of violence are in my thoughts and their fate weighs heavy on my heart. I end my comments by saying that our leaders must be vigilant in bringing these extremists to justice, and we must not be distracted by anyone attempting to call on a deity that believers insist can intervene after the fact, yet did nothing to prevent it.

When the privileged feel threatened

I submitted this letter to the editor yesterday (once I calmed down enough to write it).

My response to the letter “Christians are stopped from serving the Lord”.

Dear Editor,
I read this letter today and immediately knew I had to respond. I am human, so please understand when I tell you this hurt me. Deeply. Let’s get something straight. Christians are not being “stopped from serving the lord” as they please. I think what the writer actually means is that she feels threatened.
For much of our history America has been dominated by Christianity. Everywhere you turn there are symbols of the Christian faith. Christian churches are in every community in America. Hospitals funded by Christian organizations provide health care in every state. Schools and Universities named for Christian leaders teach America’s youth. Americans are free to wear symbols of their faith on chains around their necks and on their clothing. They can read religious books in public, and say grace openly in restaurants.
I never hear my Jewish and Muslim friends complain that they are unable to worship as they please in our country. I wonder why that is, especially since throughout history they have been victimized, tortured and killed (by Christians) for merely existing, much less practicing their faith.
Because others are using their voice to assert themselves in our culture, Christians are feeling offended. I think they have confused the rights of others with their own. In America, you can have an abortion or marry a same-sex partner if you want to, because it is legal to do so. If you don’t believe in abortion, then don’t have one. If you don’t want to marry someone of the same sex, you don’t have to. No one is forcing Christians to have abortions or get ‘gay married’. But, you do not have the right to tell others they cannot.
What happens when privilege is threatened? Remember what the wealthy plantation owners did when they faced losing all that free slave labor? Remember what kings and queens throughout history did to people who opposed them? Remember lynching in the south during the Jim Crow era? These kinds of things occurred because a class of privileged people felt threatened.
Since today is Sunday I assume many of you are worshiping in the church of your choosing, praying to the god you believe in, wearing the clothing you selected from your closet which I assume you bought with your hard-earned money. That is your right. But you don’t get to tell the rest of us that we must do the same, because hooray, we’re in America.

Oh ye that deny them an education


Patty Kinkead pulled her kid out of the Bristol Tennessee school system, and now she is organizing a rally protesting some history of Islam that is being taught as part of a world history class. Mrs. Kinkead, you have no dog in this hunt. Shit stirrers, lick your spoons.

Denying students – ALL students, not just the ones with Christian mommies or daddies, the right to an unbiased yet factual education is just wrong. This form of Christian idiocy is dangerous in its ignorance. Don’t we all want our kids to have more, be more, than ourselves? Why do these people think that eliminating a part of world history (or science, literature and art) is in a child’s best interest? In reality this sets their little darlings up for tremendous failure once they reach the “real world”.  I understand this all too well, because I lived it.

As a child growing up in the seventies and early eighties, the importance of an education was never discussed. There were no conversations about what I wanted to be when I grew up and left to seek my own way in the world. Frankly, I don’t believe my parents thought I would ever venture too far from them.  In blissfully ignorant fashion, I had no thoughts or experiences beyond the edge of my yard, the boundaries of our church doors. Had emphasis and encouragement been placed on education my life’s path would have been very different. But I did not know that at the time. What I did know was my religion.

Now by way of a woefully lacking, piecemeal, take what knowledge and experience you can from any source you can self-education, I recognize that same dogma as it rears its bigoted head on an almost daily basis. It tries to let out a roar, but thankfully it comes across as more of a mewing sound, not quite faint enough to be ignored completely but still loud enough to be annoying. And it is. To those of us who might be labeled as progressives but instead simply see ourselves as part of the human family, we try to shrug off this uncomfortably binding shroud of ignorance and intolerance, for we know that unless we do, we will not survive as a species.

The Christian attitude that they are the only ones who matter is just one of the many reasons I have no use for organized religions. I can be a stupid bigot without giving God the credit, or the blame, for it. I just have chosen not to.

Students to learn about Islam in Tennessee

“This is the radical transformation of our lives and language.”

The quote in the title (above) is by a woman named Julie West, who has two children at the University Tennessee – where apparently “they are willing to sacrifice anything for the sake of gender inclusivity”. It’s because of this Franklin Graham has his tightie-whities in a wad.

According to the University of Tennessee – Knoxville’s Office of Diversity and Inclusion, educators are concerned that students might be offended by the usage of traditional pronouns like she, he, him and hers. “There are dozens of gender-neutral pronouns,” said Donna Braquet, Director of the university’s Pride Center. She suggests using a variety of gender neutral pronouns instead of traditional pronouns.

Here is what makes people like Old Franklin so dangerous. He writes that “secularists and progressives are pushing their godless agenda into our education system and corporate America”. As opposed to what Mr. Graham? Biblical teachings? We have a little thing called Separation of Church and State, so unless you own this university and fund it privately, I’d suggest you stop talking. Oh and yes, there is a gender neutral word for idiot. The word is “intolerant”.

I have a suggestion for you Mr. Graham. Why don’t you spend your time and energy feeding the hungry children or housing the homeless in Tennessee, instead of blithering away on a topic about which you are ill-informed? Your bigotry shines through, as always. Do something productive or, just sit quietly while the rest of the world seeks progress and inclusion.